Untold Musings of an Overlooked Emperor

Abstract

I write on these woeful Kalends to quieten a turbulent mind. That I may reflect upon my life and my continuation of his divine will,2 and that I may organize my thoughts on these matters. With the death of my most trusted advisor and leader of the praetorian guard, one whose disloyal self-interest I did not foresee – could not have foreseen – I find myself further reclused from Rome. Withdrawn within my own estate, my own home, at the slight.4 It is his treachery that holds culpability for the racket in my head. His untoward actions that stir up memories, making fresh the wounds from past faults. I feel I can no longer trust in the sanctity of confidence in another, given recent events; thus, I write for the sake of gaining clarity in my own thoughts, for all those around me have lost their credit.